My cousin recently came to stay with us for just over a week. He is quite an interesting fellow from Switzerland and I had lots of fun playing tour guide showing him around Sydney, The Blue Mountains and the South Coast.
During his stay, my cousin who is 32 going on 33 said something I found rather interesting and a little sad. He said he only dates younger women….like 10 years younger.
Now, it’s no secret that many men prefer to be older than the women they date and this isn’t too big of an issue as many women prefer to date men older than themselves. I’m a bit odd I have mostly dated younger men or around my age ( maybe it’s to do with my maturity ha ha). Personally I go 5 years either way.
The thing I find disturbing is the amount of years younger he would only consider. A decade is a long time but hey to each their own. My question is, does this mean that many men in the 30s consider women in their 30s or late 20s too old?
I heard once, probably on some sitcom ( I’m thinking “Sex and the City” but I could be wrong) that a 20- something man will date a 20-something woman but a 30 something man will not date a 30-something woman. As someone pushing 30 this is a worrying concept. I don’t want all the men my age to be after women 10 years my junior and I’m just not interested in 40 and over year old men.
I recently went on a dating website for a month that I tried in the past but decided to renew over December as there was a special deal. To my shock, I had mostly men in there 40s, 50s and even 60s contacting me! I’m looking for a husband not a father. I deleted my account after a very disappointing month of not meeting anyone.
Now, after learning more about my cousin I think I understand why many men like women in their early 20s ( other than the fact that they are young and pretty). My cousin doesn’t like children and doesn’t want to ever get married. If you date a woman in her early 20s you can expect to be able to date her a few years without marriage and babies appearing immidiently on the table. It is an unfortunate fact that we women have biological clocks,so unless you’ve made the decision that you don’t want kids, once you’re almost 30 or in your 30s the time in which you’re willing to just date before marriage and babies come into the picture shrinks considerably. For those of us who want these things, and especially for those like me that want both in a specific order ( I acknowledge that not everyone wants marriage ) three years of dating without knowing marriage and children are definates are just a waste of precious time.
Men, on the other hand, don’t have such a nasty biological clock. They don’t have to worry about how old they are so long as they can find a woman young enough to give them kids. Perhaps some men who don’t want marriage and kids even date younger women with the plan to get out before they get old enough to really want these things.
So this is sounding all very bleak and hopeless… Have I expired because I’m now in the scary date-me-a-year-or-less-and-give-me-a-ring age group? Will all men run and hide because they know I’ll probably want a baby in the next 5 years or so? Do they fear we are like the woman in the picture above planning to drag them into marriage kicking and screaming? Luckily, the answer is no.
Just as there are women of my age feeling ready to settle down and have kids, there are surely men also ready to settle down and have kids and some of these just have to be around my age. In fact I know many men younger than myself who have felt this urge and married young.
Just as a man who wants to avoid marriage and children for a while may go for a younger woman a man wanting these things would go for a late 20s/ 30-something woman knowing they are probably ready for these things as well. We should not assume all men are players and are down on settling before 40. I’ve often fell into the trap of thinking all the good ones are taken and all I’ll have left is older men but this just isn’t be true. Women and men in their late 20s and 30s get married everyday.
So to all my pre-30s and 30s ladies ( and also I should really include 40s ladies too) there is still hope out these for those of us who want marriage babies and all that jazz. We just need to find those men who are wanting and ready for the same thing.